So here we go again one week after THON / you come to Penn State, there’s a party going on / so many hot ladies up and down the block / just call me ‘Fred Flintstone’, I’m gettin’ my rocks off.
Wake up 6, cause there’s a party at 8 / having all of my friends coming over to my place / knock-knock, uh-oh, someone’s at the door / “Is it the cops?” No, it’s just more ‘Coors’.
I’m decked out in green like my name is Bruce Banner / On my way out the door, you can call me Graham Spanier / m********* said we couldn’t rhyme with ‘orange’ / well I guess he never heard of a goddamn door hinge.
By 7 at night, I’m totally wasted / my friends from out of town are being arrested / trouble busting in from out of state / and I can’t even get me a ‘Shamrock Shake’!
I play beer pong like Larry Bird / with super short shorts, my game is absurd / sinking red cups on the left, and the right / if you bounce that shit, you can say “goodnight!”
State Patrick founded this holiday / if he was still around this is what he’d say / “We just having fun, so let us be / We Are – Penn State f*** Jerry Sandusky!”